Believed to be the work of Dark wizards or witches unknown, Gringotts goblins, while acknowledging the breach, insist nothing was taken. The vault in question had, in fact, been emptied the very same day. "But we're not telling you what was in there, so keep your noses out if you know what's good for you", said a Gringotts spokesgoblin this afternoon. Gringotts now need to readdress their security system. Goblin security specialists are combing the land for a better breed of security dragon to replace the now deemed useless existing ones. They are even going as far as examining Muggle security systems. Gringotts need to get another security system in place before any more breaches occur. Wizards, witches all over the country are scratching their heads wondering how safe their money is in the so-called safest wizard bank. Head goblins are urging the wizarding community for calm.

Gilderoy Lockhart, six solid months at the top of the best seller list was in Flourish and Blotts yesterday signing his new book "Magical Me". The bookstore was crammed full of admiring fans most of which were women. Gilderoy Lockhart Wizard Extraordinaire, bewitches and bedazzles us yet again with another toe-nail-bitting account of his heroic encounters with the dark side. Wrestled with werewolves, defied demons, battled bests, Gilderoy's bewildering bravery never ceases to amaze in this magical masterpiece.

Sirius Black, the most infamous prisoner — from Azkaban, — has been sighted in Dufftown by an astute Muggle. The Muggles think that he is just an ordinary criminal, they don't have a clue how dangerous, powerful and vindictive Black can be. Minister was absolutely disappointed to lose Sirius Black. The situation got worse when hundreds of Dementors turned up making the small Dufftown population quiver in panic. It took more than 4 hours for the Special Force to tranquillise what was a great shock for those.

"He's back." — Cornelius Fudge
In a brief statement Friday night, Minister for Magic Cornelius Fudge confirmed that He-Who-Must-Not-Be Named has returned to this country and is active once more. "It is with great regret that I must confirm that the wizard styling himself Lord - well, you know who I mean - is alive and among us again," said Fudge, looking tired and flustered as he addressed reporters. "It is with almost equal regret that we report the mass revolt of the Dementors of Azkaban, who have shown themselves averse to continuing in the Ministry's employ. We believe that the dementors are currently taking direction from Lord - Thingy. We urge the magical population to remain vigilant. The Ministry is currently publishing guides to elementary home and personal defence that will be delivered free to all wizarding homes within the coming month."

Coming next week, the shocking story of the flawed genius considered by many to be the greatest wizard of his generation. Striping away the popular image of serene, silver-bearded wisdom, Rita Skeeter reveals the disturbed childhood, the lawless youth, the lifelong feuds, and the guilty secrets that Dumbledore carried to his grave: WHY was the man tipped to be the Minister for Magic content to remain a mere headmaster? WHAT was the real purpose of the secret organisation known as the Order of the Phoenix? HOW did Dumbledore really meet his end?

"He had idea he knew who that was, and sure enough, as he straightened up and glanced around the office for fresh hiding places he saw a poster of himself on the wall, with the words UNDESIRABLE NO. 1 emblazoned across his chest." — The poster in Umbridge's office
An Undesirable was a witch or wizard who was wanted by the Ministry of Magic for being (allegedly) a criminal, similar to a "Public Enemy" or "Most Wanted" in the Muggle world. Dolores Umbridge had a poster with Harry Potter’s picture on it in her office at the Ministry of Magic, labelled “Undesirable No. 1”.